We finished writing our ADHD book last night.

The 1st thing that came to mind was 'DELETE'.

Relief lasted about 4 minutes.
Then terror set in.

You'd think finishing would feel good.

Instead I lay awake all night.
Running through every word.
Wondering if I got it wrong.

(more like fully convinced I got it wrong)

If it isn't the ADHD "I hit a milestone" cycle...

Done → Doubt → Should I have even started?

Because people can judge it.
Because now it's real.
And "who am I to..."

I'm a late-identified ADHDer and I've realised →
I've actually felt this with every project.

Small things like work presentations.
Programme launches.
Emails even.

And I want to celebrate the milestone.
Reward me with some puffy stickers.
And give mysef some grace.

Right now I'm in the terror bit.

If finishing creative work as an ADHDer means relief and terror arrive at the same time...

Does terror always have to win the first round?

Do we get to celebrate a win?

Do we ever get it?